Growing up I didn’t see positive relationships, friendships, marriages, etc. it wasn’t around me daily. I didn’t know what to go by. I did see people gossiping about the people they claim to love, talking to their men behind their backs, etc. Toxic? Very!
I knew this isn’t how I wanted to be but we all fall victim of our surroundings every once in a while. I can admit that I’ve had my share my gossip, BUT only the “dang why she did this” type thing. See I never knew how to share my emotions. If I discussed it, it hurt me. I hated confrontation so I would go talk about it with someone else to validate my feelings. These were my high school and early college days.
After self evaluation, I realized this was beyond toxic behavior. If I have a problem with you now, you best believe IM GONE LET YOU KNOW! Nobody has to tell you, you don’t have to wander, IM GONE COME TO YOU PERSONALLY! This helped me kill my own toxic traits and helped my friends see their toxic traits. Let’s be real, if we’re friends I want you to be better. Whether our friendship has to come to an end or not. I want you to see what you did hurt me. Don’t make this mistake with anyone else and please tell me if I hurt you.
Enough about me let’s dig deeper into toxic friendship traits:
- Talking about you behind your back
- Talking about their other friends that you aren’t cool with to you. Telling you their problems.
- Jealous of your success
- Always a different person when you see them
- Always putting down in others
- Hangs with people that don’t like you*
Talking behind your back
Baby girl! Yes she’s toxic. That’s a no brainer.
Coming to you about their other friends that you aren’t cool with
Because if you telling me their problems I’m sure they know mine and I just can’t mess with you like that. I’m not discussing Mikeyia’s (bestfriend) business to anyone and damn sure not to someone that don’t like her.
Jealous of your success
Feel like you can’t share something with your friend? Or when you do they are dry or don’t say anything at all? Or maybe they try to one up you. RUN! That’s not your friend
Always a different person when you see them
Now I do believe in growth and I know everyday isn’t your day but I was friends with someone who was a different person every time I saw her and we saw each other quite frequently. There’s a difference between being a different person and being in a different mood.
Always putting down on others
I hate a Negative Nancy. I never look down on others unless I’m helping them up. This friend that feels as if she’s better than everyone and makes shady comments about how much she has, watch out for her. She’s toxic as hell!
Hangs with people that dislike you
Now this one is tricky. If they were friends before y’all fell out I see nothing wrong. BUT if they became friends after that’s shady. Idc what no one says, I have no interest in being friends with someone who dislikes my closest friends. For what?
There are definitely so many more toxic traits. I may do a part two. In the meantime, share your thoughts and experiences.